Girl Talk: The Man of Your Dreams or the Man of Most of Your Dreams?

Well, it took me a while to come up with this week’s topic. Then when I thought of one, I stewed over it for a while, because it’s more on the serious side, kind of a departure for me on Girl Talk, and maybe even a little controversial. But I decided what the hay? Most of ya don’t know where I live anyway.

I met a woman at a mommie group a while back who told us this story FIVE MINUTES AFTER SHE’D JUST MET ALL OF US:

(I’m paraphrasing here)

“Well, I just have one daughter. She’s almost three. I’d like to have more, but I don’t know. I have to talk my husband in to it. I focused on my career until I was 39. Then I realized I’d better hurry up and get married if I wanted a family. When he asked me to marry him, I made him promise that we would try for at least one child. He has children from a previous marriage, and didn’t really want any more. I got him to reluctantly agree to one. I wanted more, but knew if I pushed it he wouldn’t marry me. I figured I’d just talk him into it later. But I’ve asked him about more, and he just says, ‘I upheld my end of the bargain. You said one, you got one. No more.’ So I guess I just have to settle for one.”

O.K. First I was shocked at the level of detail she went into with us having just been introduced. When I’m not bloggin’ I’m an introvert. In real life I do not divulge personal information in public easily. Wild horses have to drag it out of me.

Then I felt sympathy for her, because we could all see that she wasn’t happy about the situation.

So here’s some questions.

Did she wait too long to start thinking about a family? Should she have prioritized that over career sooner?

If she’d started looking for a husband sooner, would she have found a more compatible Mr. Right?

Did she settle by marrying presumably the first guy that came along? Should she have waited for the guy who wanted as many children as she, or was it right for her to heed the ticking of her biological clock and cut this deal with him?

What if she did wait, and never found Mr. Right, and never had a family at all?

What about her plan to “talk him into more”, which in girl speak usually translates to manipulate?

I’m not judging her choices. I just think it’s an interesting example of what today’s woman is faced with. Do you try to have it all? Do you have to make a choice between career and family? What do you do if your biological clock is a ticking time bomb and you haven’t found Prince Charming yet?

Talk back to me girls. What do you think?

Debbie over at Midnight Musings wrote a fantastic response to this!

Remember to check out this week’s Girls Just Wanna Win Swag Giveaway.

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4 Responses to “Girl Talk: The Man of Your Dreams or the Man of Most of Your Dreams?”

  1. babycobalt Says:

    The guy is so sensitive. I mean, if he really love his wife, he’ll do everything to make his girl happy and CONTENTED right?

  2. babycobalt Says:

    that’s “Insensitive” by the way. sorry for that.

  3. Debbie Says:

    Babycobalt: I disagree. Marriage is a TWO way street and children are a HUGE lifetime commitment for both people. She knew what she was getting when she married him. Marrying someone with the intent to change them is delusional and selfish.

  4. acupofjoy Says:

    Whoa! Change a man’s mind?! Ha! That’s a good one! I can think of one person who did that successfully. Remember the Mom from My Big Fat Greek Wedding? The advice she gave her daughter, “The man is the head, but the woman is that neck…and she can turn the head anyway she wants.” Ah yes! Sounds good. Stinks of manipulation.

    She discussed children with him before she married him, knowing full well that he only wanted one. I think she was disillusioned, thinking she could change his mind. I married late, at the age of 34. Let me tell you I can hear the tick, tick, tock of my biological clock. But, no way would I have thought I could change a man’s mind.

    In my opinion, a girl should decide what is important to her in a mate before she marries and stick to that decision. Without knowing the history, it sounds like she settled. For me, it was well worth the wait.

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