Dear Direct TV

Dear Direct TV,

You know, these things are never easy.

I don’t know how else to say it…

I just don’t love you any more.

I wish I could let you down easy, but it’s not me — it’s you.

Things haven’t been the same for a while.

Oh, we had our share of good times. When we first started our relationship, I fell head-over-heals for you. You were so different from cable. So many channels, so many features and when I talked to you on the phone I felt how much you cared.

Then you introduced to me to TIVO.

Oh, wonderful, amazing, pause-live-TV TIVO!

You showed me how I didn’t have to ever miss a single episode of The O.C., and you stuck with me even through that horrible last season. We couldn’t stop watching. Hoping somehow Marisa would be resurrected from the dead, and we would once again revel in she and Ryan’s teen angst.

But alas it was not to be.

And now I see that you and I are no longer meant to be.

For the TIVO DVR that you gave me broke. And you sent me a replacement. But the replacement DVR wasn’t a TIVO. It was your own brand.

Trusting you as I did, I thought your DVR might be even better.

But it kept malfunctioning.

You sent four new DVRs over the last year and a half. Each time you promised that the new one would make it all better. But with each new DVR just a came a new set of problems.

You keep telling me that you understand my frustration. But I don’t think you really do. Not once did you offer an account credit or free programming or equipment upgrade to make up for all the inconvenience you caused.

Today when you told me I had to pay for your service technician to come to my house, and then also pay for a new DVR if he couldn’t fix this current one, I knew it was finally over. There wasn’t even a little bit of that old concern in your voice this time.

As usual you came through in the end. You finally offered me a new free DVR if you couldn’t get the old one working again, but not until I threatened to leave you. It shouldn’t take that much to get you to respond to my needs.

You did manage to get my old DVR working again.

But I’ve given you so many chances. I’ve tried to make it work. It’s just that I can’t take anymore missed or erased shows. I can’t take any more of my son looking at me with those sad eyes and asking why Spongebob isn’t on today.

Of course you’ve made it almost impossible for me to leave you. Every time you sent me a new DVR you extended my contract for another 24 months. Now I’m stuck with you for another year unless I pay you off.

I should have learned my lesson from that bad relationship I had with Centurytel years ago.

So Direct TV you’ll have me around for another year. But I’m only staying because of the money. Come next July, I’m walking away and never looking back.

We’ll always have TIVO.

Regretfully no longer yours,

Me

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5 Responses to “Dear Direct TV”

  1. morethananelectrician Says:

    We had heard bad things about thier unit so we went straight to Tivo and use theirs. We just route the DirecTV through it and haven’t had an issue for two years.

    I haven’t read too many good reviews about the DirectTV DVR. We checked before I bought one for her and we don’t regret it.

  2. Debbie Says:

    Huh…We have a DirecTV DVR and haven’t had a second of trouble. Weird.

  3. Mary Says:

    Too funny. I so don’t blame you for ending the relationship – it just wasn’t meant to be!

  4. Heidi Says:

    This is why I do not have a TV- and the small but important fact that I cannot get any English programming and if I am going to watch TV I really want it to be in ENGLISH.

    Okay, that wasn’t venting or anything.

    Hope you stop by to check out the Just Humor Me Meme and consider leaving your link…moms just gotta have fun.

  5. Alex Says:

    I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

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